Old Bean

Ken Griffey Jr. "diagnosed" with Ken Griffey Jr.’s Disease

CINCINNATI , OH – Moments after trying to snare a Barry Bond’s home run which just cleared the right-centerfield wall, Ken Griffey Jr. hobbled back to the dugout, Griffey during a 45 day DL stay in 2003 (pink eye) expressing discomfort in his left foot. Once again, the oft-maligned Red’s outfielder finds himself on the injured list. This time, the one-time All-Star is out with a possible dislocated toe. But Griffey believes there might be more to the story, a potentially undiagnosed health condition that may make him more susceptible to injury than most.

“After spending hours diagnosing myself, it’s my medical opinion that I may be the first to have this unknown, underlying problem that causes me to get hurt a lot” opined Griffey. “It’s a very rare disease that renders its victims: me; helpless and prone to frequent baseball injuries; I’m calling it ‘Ken Griffey Jr.’s Disease’’.

Doctors however are a little more skeptical. “Mr. Griffey has no medical background and his theory has nothing to support it. Well, nothing but a list of ‘injuries’ longer than a hospital bill and a perfect record of making my season tickets worthless by The All-Star Game with these same ‘injuries’” stated Dr. Arman Pantuso of Cincinnati General Hospital. “Quite honestly, I don’t think there is really anything wrong with him”.

“I know the doctors are a little uncertain, but I’ve spent hours on WebMD.com, and I’ve seen nearly every episode of Fox’s hit show ‘House M.D.’, and I can say without question, that this has all the characteristics of ‘Ken Griffey Jr.’s Disease’ I’m not claiming any bias but Tommy John and Lou Gerig didn’t have this kind of scrutiny and they got stuff named after them. Bad stuff like this!” stated Griffey.

Currently, Griffey is listed as day-to-day for his dislocated toe.

--thesportsbean.com

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